Will You Save Me a Seat?

I beeped my car, grabbed the rolls, and headed to the front door. I felt a wave of anxiety as I approached the house, I even felt a bit awkward and out of my element. I heard the sound of the dog barking, and took a deep breath as the door opened. 

....

It was about five months earlier, when I was in the deep of planning for our incredible summer missions project, that I was sitting in my office amongst papers and in the slue of an already 12 hour work day, that I had a life and ministry changing revelation.  

It occurred to me that in the hustle and bustle of the last couple of months, that I had not been spending very much time with students, and spending much more time in my office. I even began to cry a little, because often times, and I am not sure about you other YP's out there, but I get overwhelmed by my office time and by the end of the day I am so spent, that doing the thing that I love the most (hanging with students) doesn't get to happen. Youth Ministry is not a 9-5 kind of job, if you are in this field you know that. But for many of us, if we do not monitor our time in ministry, it begins to rule our lives, and the rest of 'us' begins to suffer. Balance is a weighted word, and not just for Ministry professionals, but for many professionals out there. 

That day I sat there in my mind playing back the past three years (that is how long I have been at my current church). And in those three years, the majority of my time has (and please do not gasp) has not been spent with students, it has been spent in my office. Now of course, this does not include events, outings, or retreats - but I spend (and this is just brutal honesty here) very little time building relationships/discipling students. But let me just just say, here and now, it has not been because I have not desired to. I, like most, even my co-worker in the office next to me doing HS Min, feel the constant pressure to be all and do all - planning over the top events, doing administrative work, making sure that our main program is in top shape, preparing lessons, equipping leaders, emailing parents, AND finding the time to do the most IMPORTANT part of our job, walking with students (and see that all of it happens, and happens with excellence). 

So, I had to ask myself a question? What is more important, the Gnome Scavenger Hunt or Discipling Students? And the answer is, both. What a hard place to be, I thought. For the most part, and like many youth ministries out there, we are short staffed, and a staff run program all in one. We need to have events, we need to have a great program, and we need disciple students. But that day in my office, I felt at a loss - because if I devote myself to one, another suffers, if I spread myself over all, they all suffer.  But at the end of the day, I had to ask myself, why are you in youth ministry Sara? And even though there are many things that my job require, that I can do, and do well, they are not the reason I wanted to, and felt called to be in ministry. 

The reason I wanted to be in ministry, with this age-group of students, is because I want them to know who Jesus is. I wanted to be able to walk alongside them during these three years in middle school, which we all know is a crazy time, and help them to build and shape their faith. How does this happen? Well it happens with the lesson on Sunday, it happens with the help of small group leaders, it happens when students feel at home during events, and in many other big and small ways. But here is the kicker, it also happens (in a HUGE way) when we get to step right into their lives (outside of church). I have seen this example, and the impact it has on a student, when their leader steps into THEIR lives - is monumental.  

I no longer want to just see and hear about this impact, or hear stories of winning touchdowns, or family game nights - I want to be a part of them. I want to truly be in the lives of our students. I want to know them personally, I want to be involved in their lives, outside of Sunday.  I want to get to know them right where they are, at home, at their games, at their activities etc. I believe that part of knowing a student, is also knowing their family. We are in this together, and the things that help to shape a student's faith, that help them to know Jesus, well they begin, at home. 

So this year, we are doing something different. This year we doing something that will feel and does completely foreign to me, and to our families. This year I am going relying more heavily on my volunteers to become significant voices in the lives of students. This year we are having fewer events, and the ones we are having, are being done with an even more specific purpose and position. This year I am going to get to know my people, my students and their families. This year I am hoping to see winning touchdowns, bench time, the sound of choral voices, your messy living room, your teens bulletin board, and your dog Fluffy. 

This year, I need parents to share the sports schedules, the dance schedules, the performance times. I need families to invite me to dinner, to the picnic on Saturday, or to Sunday Lunch. This year, I want, I NEED my sweet families to invite me into their lives. I want them to know me, and likewise, I want to know them.  We are in this journey, at least for three years (hopefully more), together. I am praying they will let me. 
....

As the door opened I was greeted with the warmest of welcomes. I walked in and began my first dinner, in three years of ministry, with a wonderful family.  We had pork chops for dinner, my first cherry pie for dessert, and a game of cards to top off the evening. The food was fantastic, the conversation was funny and delightful, but most of all, the time I got to spend with the Kikers, was something I won't forget. I saw them as a family, unique and special. I got to see them love each other and experience them love on me. They got to hear all about my just beginning adventure with seminary and my hopes and love of this wonderful MS Min. I got to not just know their MS son better, but also, their elementary daughter. I heard about their family traditions, their favorite things, and just got to know a side of them I never would have, at an event or on a Sunday morning. 

I can plan events with my eyes closed, I am great with details, I can even write a Sunday morning lesson - these are things I KNOW. But getting to KNOW a family, even though it was out of my element, was one of the best things in ministry, I have ever known. 

I am thankful and so grateful for my first family dinner. I left knowing that even though we are changing up things a bit, this is exactly how it is supposed to be.