What is a Flex Match you might ask? Well, please let me give you the complete, official eHarmony explanation:
You see, Kenneth is somewhere there on the left, the green man if you will, but if you ask me he is somewhere else completely. Oh eHarm, what on earth were you thinking?
I would be doing you a complete disservice if I did not include my favorite portions from his profile. Oh my, here we go.
Kenneth, at age 34 is an artist and a writer, stands a short 5'3 and is a non-smoker. Doing good so far Kenny. The most influential person in his life is "God, Jesus, and my friends. why? because they all give me a more meaningful life." I can buy that, ok go on.
The thing Kenneth is most passionate about: (quoting so that I leave nothing out)
"hello I am passionate about art, reading, writing, helping others, activism, volunteering, religion, sex, walking, swimming, live action role-playing, movies, tv, dining out, cuddling, and massaging"
Ohhhhhhhhhhh Kenny you had me at hello?
Wrong.
Going on. Kenneth would like us to know some additional information about himself, he describes this in MANY words below:
"I like to meet like-minded open-minded ladies with similiar interests that I have. I like to have fun. For example, I like to dine out, watch movies, romantic strolls on the beach, bowling, sensual massages, cuddling, hugging, kissing, and getting to know other people better. My favorite color is red and my favorite foods are chinese and japanese. I am as open-minded as a human being can get. I'm so open-minded, that I do not mind if my dates are straight or bisexual, monagamous or polygamous. I believe honesty, good communication and loyalty are very important for a good relationship. I'm looking for a long-term commited relationship."
I don't think a polygamous and committed are synonymous when it comes to a relationship Kenny. But I mean let's not get hung up there... Red is one of my favorite colors too!
And the last part from this riveting tale from "People of eHarm"...
The last book that Kenneth enjoyed reading was, "Star Trek role-playing material :) I'll try to get a full membership on may 1st so i can communicate with you. please be patient. xoxoxoxo"
Well, there is not enough patience in the world Kenny.
XOXOXO
-S
For those of you who need a visual, my bffl drew a MS Paint Kenneth for you.
I was feeling you were being a bit too harsh on the poor guy until you got to how "open-minded" this poor guy is. (I continue to say poor because it seems clear that he's probably a little bankrupt of spirit, masculinity, and a few other things)
ReplyDeleteeHarmony's "flex-matches" have been my bane. They're the only ones who seem to bother attempting any communication with me and they're all I've gotten in matches for the past week or so. In fact I found this googling about the flex-matches to see if I wasn't the only feeling so cheated. Anyways, amusing art works! ciao
D